If i come over, it means nothing
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
