Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize