so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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