your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i would punch a child for taco bell
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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