I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
