Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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