Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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