Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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