How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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