woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
