I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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