I hope mine doesn't look like that
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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