i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize