ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize