i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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