Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
