Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
