Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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