How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
