Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
