Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
