I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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