somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
