I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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