Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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