You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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