I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Hippo gnu deer
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
