I'm really into asian looking animals
Sponge bath it is.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
