He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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