Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
