Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
