Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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