STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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