where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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