i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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