No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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