Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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