I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
