he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
