this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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