Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
