I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
