I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
