Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
