butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
