i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
