Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
