yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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