You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
