why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
