Jerry, you need to find god
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
