You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize