I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm passing your future prison.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
