i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
