does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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