Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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