Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
