This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
