I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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